Brazilian Butt Lifts Huge in the NYC /// Beard Transplants for Hipsters an Actual Thing /// Who Says You Are Not the Body?

A svelt giant wearing tiny jeans

A svelt giant wearing tiny jeans

Spiritual people (especially of the Vaishnavaite variety) love to wax mystical about how “we are not the body.” It’s a fairly simple concept which basically states that “you” exist apart from your body, and will continue on long after your body is being eaten by zombies. Watch as Abhay Charanaravinda Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada attempts (in a rather confusing manner) to explain such things to a bunch of daft Westerners.

And yet, while we may not “be” our body, we are certainly going to be living out our days carrying around a body, so we might as well do something with it. According to a NY Post article, NYers seem to know this all too well, and have recently been given the oh so very righteous title of “City-Dwellers Most Likely to Search for Brazilian Butt Lifts Online.” Apparently, roughly 378,000 NYC residents have been caught searching out the procedure between November 2013 and January 2014 alone.

“‘It’s no longer this anorexic-model look that the magazines tell people they’re supposed to look like,’ said Shafer [a Midtown plastic surgeon who specializes in butt lifts]. He says he consults six to eight patients on Brazilian butt lifts per week, on par with breast augmentations’.” (NYPost)

Scratching your head? Not sure what a Brazilian butt lift surgery even is, or how it might differ from a “butt implant?” Don’t worry. BrazilianButtLiftNY has got your back(side):

“The Brazilian butt lift surgery differs from a similar procedure known as butt implants. Both procedures result in a much better looking buttocks, but are completely different surgeries. Similar to breast implants, Butt implants involve using actual implants inserted in the buttocks. A Brazilian butt lift uses your own body fat in a procedure referred to as an autologous fat transfer. Your own body fat is liposuctioned out from other areas, such as the abdomen, love handles, thighs, arms, etc. and then reinserted into the buttocks, making bigger, rounder, and more attractive.”

Still confused? Maybe this picture with long and short arrows will help:


Now, many of you must be thinking, “Hey, why go through all the trouble of having your stomach fat suctioned out of its rightful home and injected into your ass so it can mingle with the fat that currently resides there when you could just strap on a pair of these beauties and be done with it….”


But, we all know that ain’t gonna happen. Certainly not in a city where, according to DNA Info, physicians like Dr. Jeffrey Epstein is said to be doing upwards of three beard transplants a week for wanna-be hipsters and other assorted neo-yuppies. Thanks Avett Bros.


Listen fellas, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but here’s a little word from the wise. Some beard just grow in patchy.

It’s what you do with them that counts.





2 replies

  1. “Apparently, roughly 378,000 NYC residents have been caught searching out the procedure between November 2013 and January 2014 alone”

    I’d be curious to see the ethnic breakdown of these numbers. Is it mostly white women? Asians? Blacks (which I doubt)? Latinas?

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