The “Great White Hope”

According to the NY Post, last week the world’s second biggest belieber to Anne Frank (and hottest lesbian), Justin Beiber, was out and about looking for a NYC swimming pool to get baptized in. Apparently, the lil’ whipper snapper has an affinity for not only being a mischievous lil prick, but also for repenting for being as such. As the Post reports:

“Multiple sources confirmed to us that Bieber was looking for a Manhattan property with a private pool to conduct a baptism-like ceremony with the Hillsong Church NYC.

One source said, ‘Justin and his team spent time on Saturday searching for a place with a pool where they could conduct a baptism for him, a cleansing ritual, with the Hillsong Church. But they couldn’t find a place in time’.”

You gotta hand it to the kid. This lil sucka MC is so baller, it doesn’t even occur to him that the NYC doesn’t just have swimming pools spread across town all willy nilly. If that were the case, we’d be in them. All. The. Time. Polar vortex or no polar vortex. Them shits is a hot commodity, and, the few that we do have, by summertime, act more as a cruel joke when you think about how many awful city bodies end up cramming into that primo chlorinated real estate.

Shit. If I were him, I’d just find myself a nice high-end hotel with a bathtub, call a few honeys over, have some public window-sex, and get to the baptizin’.

Speaking of which, why don’t more people get baptized in bathtubs? Oh, right….

A bathtub about to overfloweth. From http://www.baptizo.info/howbap.html

Awwwwwwwwkward….