Sex Toys For Non-Goys |:| Kosher in Babeland

Actually, this one is for dogs, soooo….

So, I recently started massage therapy school, or as we like to call it “Manual Therapy” school. As such, it’s been a little on the difficult side this first week to have coherent thoughts on matters marginal and even harder to get said thoughts down on virtual paper. That’s not to say I don’t have a back log of material waiting to be posted, but rather that I haven’t been able to say something fantastic about any of it.

In keeping with that theme…

Gothamist ran a short piece on Kosher Sex Toys, an online site catering to Orthodox(xx) Jews interested in a modestly packaged “sensual solid glass toy that has all the perks!”

From the site:

KosherSexToys.net’s mission is to provide married adults with products that can help enhance their intimate moments without involving crude or indecent pictures or text. Every product we provide – unlike those in many other online stores – is sent to you without any crude packaging or accompanying materials. Our website – while obviously only for married adults – contains no crude or indecent pictures or text. We believe that only two people belong in the bedroom – and bringing pictures of others in can only harm a marriage.

Turns out, sex in orthodox communities isn’t all that bad, so now you can stop having those goyish better-than-thou thoughts while riding your fixed gear through a neighborhood you’re actually less welcome in than you had hoped.

The Post asked Orthodox Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of the book “Kosher Sex,” what he thought of the website, and he gave quite a vivid answer: “The greatest misconception in pop culture is that religious people are pious in bed. In fact, Orthodox Jewish couples are taught, once they get engaged, to have phenomenal, shout-out-loud, swinging-from-the-chandelier sex.” Thank you for that, Rabbi, but one question remains: Can they use the battery-powered vibrators on Shabbos? Or do they need a Shabbos Goy to come turn it on for them?

I thought that was funny.

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