Photo courtesy the Daily News

Here we go again.

“A voodoo priest allegedly placed the candles on the floor around the bed on Saturday after a woman paid him $300 to perform a ceremony with a sexual component, that was meant to bring her good luck, fire department officials said.”

For those who don’t know, last week we had a tragic five-alarm fire here in Brooklyn that ultimately claimed the life of a 64-year-old retired teacher, injured twenty firefighters and eleven residents, and left forty-seven families homeless. Unsurprisingly, the story that’s being reported these days is less about the fire and more about the “fact” that it was caused by a so-called “voodoo sex ceremony,” which apparently is not only wrong and diabolical, but also now a threat to our security.

Par for the course, Fox News does its hardest to send home the Voodoo Sex angle, mentioning it a total of six times! in its minute-thirty in-depth coverage of the blaze.

While the New York Times front-and-centers the voodoo angle, it plays down the sex bit, leaving it for the last paragraph. Not to worry, however, as Alexander Homme of Manhattan Style: Fashion and Lifestyle Trends, makes up for whatever was lost, by not even trying to figure out what happened:

“Fire marshals confirmed that the Feb. 20 blaze at 346 East 29th St. in Flatbush that escalated to a five alarm fire all started by black magic and voodoo sex ritual.”

Grammatical corruptions aside, I find it weird to think fire marshals can “confirm” that black magic and voodoo caused the fire. Don’t knocked over candles and forty-mile-an-hour winds cause fires? When a few days later an 89-year-old man sustains sever burns while lighting votive candles in a church for his departed wife, do we accuse Christianty of having started the fire? Not to mention, since when are black magic and voodoo the same thing?!

Most other news outlets rock the story just as shamefully, aptly towing the line connected to the trough that feeds them. And yet, despite both the Huffington Post, as well as most other outlets trying to play up the sexy voodoo angle, Fire Commissioner Salvatore Cassano laid it down straight:

“Time and time again we respond to tragedies that could have been so easily prevented…. This fire had so many of those elements: candles left on the floor near combustible material, one of the occupants trying to douse the flames before calling 911 and an open door, which allowed fire to spread into the hallway. Hopefully others will learn from this tragedy.”

Whatever way you slice it, the news of this tragedy sucks. Let it be a reminder to all y’all who like to have sexy time surrounded by candles. Keep them off the floor! And, especially away from flammables. Come on!